NEW SONGS! Ante Up There is no leaving if there's no regret. Satisfaction is what we understand. You've got no passion, your promises are shit. This never ending line of fools is growing longer yet. Standing still and you think you're chasing me, I'm your obsession, it makes you desperate. Ante up, ante up, I called your bluff. Where's all this hate that you promised me? Fear of failing and falling under quick. Your voice is fading cause the price was right again. Heaven help me Im burning up in place. So sad to see it all come down but this is what we've made. Accept the silence, there's no going back. The stakes are higher when there's nothing left to ask. The rules are broken cause we've gone too far to tell, put your money where your mouth is or just assert yourself. I'm right here and I'm not running. So whatcha gonna do? Is that all you've got? You're gonna have to do much, much better than that..... Hey! Got my head on straight and then I was strong, nobody could be bothered now I keep to myself. They're so willing to believe that everything is fine, it's so easy to convince them that I'm doing just fine. I stopped talking when they stopped listening, so I talked to myself and then I stopped listening. So disconnected. I've come to expect it. If I have to be lonely then I'd rather be alone. I could really use a friend but I push 'em all away. I really need some help but I turn it all away. I used to have a chance but I pissed it all away. I don't know if this is what I wanted. I've got nothing to say that you'd want to hear, just bad feelings and some bad memories. They can't handle it. They can't accept it. It makes them useless and you're left to deal with it. I won't give you the opportunity to trivialize my point of view. Only show the good side they only want the good news. Protect them from your bad side. What they gonna think of you? I know that I turned away....... But I blame you instead....... How hard should I try to keep you interested? Red Cent Everyone is all we got. We're still alone and waiting for the right time. Look back and hum along, bring on the age. You cant complain that not everyone can play, It's not your game. The picture's still broken but a boy can wish. One more coat to cover it. It'll just keep coming back, coming back with age. You want your freedom, you want your peace but everything costs. Down to your last red cent.  Burnt up and covered in this summer film. I cant breath I cant move. Tell me what's going on, we used to have more fun. The jury's dead and I'm drawn to you. I'll turn to bone alone bleached for all to see. There's nothing left to say... or so you think. There are no winners just sin and sinners. There's nowhere to go and no-one to talk to. Down to your last red cent.  The jagged road and dirty living string you along and wear you down. It's the price you pay. In more hopeful times they didn't call your hunger desperation. Your blood thirsty. Your dreams are trite and your lifestyle's a novelty, Your passion's the babbling of a madman. Can't look you in the eye because they know you've paid your dues. You're bloodied up and bruised but the very last punch you throw is the one with the most behind it. Now. Right now I'm bit uptight. If you want to fuck with me I'll give you every fucking chance. This is a full fledged invitation. Mother fucking confrontation. I can vent all my frustrstion. I can vent all my fustration Right Noooooow. Right noooooow. Right now this not your lucky day. Right now you going to have to pay for every god damn tiime some mother fucker fucked with me and I just let it pass. I'm not complaining. I don't complain. You see I'd rather keep it all inside. Hidden in that little place. I'll keep it locked away Until it comes out at random times. Yeah times like right now. Right Now. I'm begging you for just one reason to justify the lesson I'm going to teach you. You've taken too many libertties no matter how trivial it seems. I'm not trying to solve anything but I'll feel a whole lot better. Right noooooow. Right noooooow. I'm all out of patience so I'm acting like mental patient It's been building up inside of me and then I run into a fuck like you. A pound of punishment for and ounce of crime I'll make you never forget me. I know you're disrespect doesn't warrant such violence But you caught me on a bad day plusyouprobablydeserve it anyway so...... Good Old Days Think back to the good old days. I've been thinking about the times we had. All the things we used to do. All the trouble we caused and the people we knew. Its funny how when you look back now, we remember the sky but not the clouds. You never question how you waste your life, when self destruction is just a way to pass the time. Times that we thought would never end, this one's for my old friends, in a place and time we wont forget. Things that we took for granted, are the things in the end we miss the most. Here's to the good old days. I thought it would never end. At the time I guess I really didn't think about it. That's the beauty of innocence you're unaware of your ignorance. Once it's gone there's no going back, could spend your life trying to get it back. You know it would mean a lot to me if you knew how much it meant to me. Photos freeze the moments that we lose, time changes the paths we use to choose. Some things change and some things never end, i'd like to think that I'm still the same kid. Even though the story goes on, the chapter ends to an era long gone. To all of those who share these memories, here's a toast to you..... From "The Last...." vol 1 of 3 Best Intentions How long? How long will it take before you lose all of your self respect and learn from your mistakes. The angel on your shoulder's dying. The chip on your shoulder's binding. Your reputation is declining. Still you're acting like a loose cannon. You've lost control. Control. And your mistakes are how you'll be defined. There's no exceptions. There is a problem with no solution. You want the real truth or subtle fiction? I don't have to tell you, you know youre running out of time. Your best intentions are no where near close. So keep on trying to hide the guilt. Dont have to tell you, you know youre running out of time. There's always expectations, certain things condoned. There's only so many chances. When your luck runs out the book is closed. More excuses everytime. Everytime will be the last time. The last time until the next time, temptations wont leave you alone. No one can help you, you know youre running out of time. Sucker Bait What's this obsession for the meaningless? Give us something to live for. We need an empty quest. We need a hero with corporate sponsorship. Commercials mold identities and make us want to live like those who don't exist. You succumbed. The next generation sucker bait. 2-D lives played out on a flat screen. Westernized bastardization. It's the product of economic masturbation. Buy what they sell so you can advertise. Sucker bait. The red carpet is the model. Make your dreams come true. You too can be beautiful and groomed to be used. They'll make you feel guilty. They're hunting for you. It's a full scale war on a graphed out chart and the honey pot is you. Like dead minnows you're sucker bait. Even if you quit you'll be replaced. Take It What's that part of you and then your life crushes it? Oh yeah, it's your spirit. Once upon a time not so far from home there was this kid, who never bothered anybody. Then his luck pulled the rug out from under him, dragged him through the gravel and hung him out to dry. I guess you'd blame yourself at a time like this. I don't know why 'cause I'm seeing things a different way. Take it all you motherfuckers. You got everything you wanted. If you couldn't handle it it's not my fault. Take it. They want your blood. Take it. Take it all. You've got your whole life ahead of you if you don't give it up for her. When your bleeding it's hard to see straight. I know that it looks different from the outside. We all get beat down from time to time. We give in a little bit and bend our own rules. With no revelations and no resolution there's an easy way out but I'm seeing things a different way. No Way Out There ‘aint no money. The liquor stores are closed on Sunday. The gas tank is empty. We ‘aint going nowhere. There’s no way out. There’s no way out. I’m just barely breathing. Would someone check my pulse or some other kind of vital sign. How did I become so fucking numb. There’s no way out. There’s no way out. There are very few things I need. Its the little things that don’t make a difference anyway. There’s no way out of this. There’s no way out of this. I know I’m losing. This ‘aint about being fucked up. This ‘aint about being lazy. They call us fucked up. The call us lazy. We’re not lazy. Just bored. The boiler’s broken. That bitch called looking for the rent again. I look around the house for something to sell. My credit has long been shot. There’s no way out. There’s no way out. I was bruised and I was broken when the words of wisdom were spoken, "Make a life not a living", I deal with this shit every fucking day. I'm not complaining, a no win situtation. All out of options. There's no way out of this. All the strength that I've got, is focused on survival. I aint saying that I give up but there's no way out of this. Misfit's Blues They were just simple folk from the old country. Farmers on the country side in nazi Germany. And the sleazy men with machine guns came for her every night until the day he stepped between and took the bruises with her. She said I'm nothing with out you. The body quits when the mind is gone and her mind is still with him. They start a brand new life in a strange new land. He fixes shoes to feed his family and kept the traditions. But the shop will never open up again since he left this world and all of us. It was all she ever knew. It only took a year or two or maybe even less. She's talking to herself again. Disorder and unrest. She cries out in the night. She swears he's in the room with her. When they found her down the street we knew. She decided her time. From "Manifest Destiny" and "G String" I’m Not Special Sitting by myself. Inside myself if nothing else. I found out exactly what I believe. Uninfluenced by social standing or belonging. As if it were my choice to make. I’m not Special not me. Who made you so special? I’m not special not me. Never forget the day when they were laughing at me. And I wonder now why I tried so hard to fit in. Turned on the radio and it shadowed my misery and then my misery just turned to rage. Oh you’ve got to just laugh about it. It doesn’t matter and someday you’ll know it never will. Embrace your identity. Yeah mines scaring me but every scratch and scar and bruise I call my own. Defeatist Tell me what its like to be better than everyone. Everytime I speak you have to shoot me down. Sometimes I think that its going to be alright but you've got to be the one to tell me that I'm wrong. Always find fault in what I want to do. You can't see anything but the chance of failure. You're cynical,  you're arrogant,  your attitude I'm sick of it. I don't need you or your self righteous criticism. You're a defeatist. I don't need this. You're a defeatist. I don't need you. Raining on my parade give you some sort of satisfaction like you're superior 'cause you've given up the fight. And I should be more like you? 'Cause you've done so well with your own pathetic situation. So tell me what it's like to be better than everyone. Better yet don't speak. I don't want to hear your mouth. Textbook intellect can't replace experience. I see right through you and I'm not the only one. I've been you and then I grew out of it. What makes you think that you would know better than me. I don't have the patience for another empty lesson. Who the fuck are you and who do you think you are? I Give Up That sucks but it’s the way it is. Yeah, I don’t like it either. What are you going to do cry about it? Or accept the fact that you can’t change it. Happy endings never really come. If they do they don’t last that long. Some fuck said life aint fair but that depends on what you think the world owes you. I give up, just sit back and watch the world end. I’m not like them, I’m just thrown in this mess, and I get so fucking tired so just sit back and watch the world end. I’ve got a bad feeling all of this is useless anyway, every time I try to get ahead, something else gets in my way. Never asked to be part of this at all and I got nothing to lose, you never tried to see it my way. I accepted being rejected. Spend every anxious moment of my tortured life just trying to find a way to make it through and co-exist with you people. Dead People Frankie's brother got killed, laid waste to the street. He was somebody's brother, a moms son, a lover. True I didn't know him at all, it still made me sad though. Stevie smashed into a brick wall, he told me once what hardcore meant. I hope his kids got to know him, I always thought I'd see him again. Pumping gas or walking down the street, I knew him a little I guess. It still hit me hard though. Vincent was like a best friend, he liked it simple, loved his life. Never complained to me once about things he wished to change. Vincent caught some cancer, wasted away in days in front of me. Morphine numbed him, it didn't help me though. I don't want to leave my house. Stalled with fear this is my life, its not my death. A coward for shedding tears. My guilt by association, we're all living on borrowed time. They never caught the guy, Frankie died without a reason. Another unsolved crime, why waste the time? Could be you, could be me, but I knew that Frankie was sad, cuz he said so on TV. Stevies just gone now, I read it in the paper. All bad news, hard to believe. All the things he did in just 24 yrs. Died on a Sunday, crash and burn. I always liked stevie, I think he even liked me. Vincent haunts my dreams, I try not to be scared at night. When his painted eyes are watching me. I could've thanked him more before he died, but I just left the room........ So now anyone can kill me, they’ll never catch em. My car will explode and I'll be strapped in safe. Should I quit smoking. Should I quit breathing. Is it nature or evolution or just a fucking plague?? So Frankie's brother died, Stevie’s dead and so is Vincent. All the dead people that never mattered. Ones I loved, the ones I knew and some I didn't know at all. It still makes me sad though....... How Can You Win How can you win when you’ve lost all the faith in your life, trust in yourself is all you’ve ever had. You’re feeling pain and you know that it ain’t right. Cant find the cause to care at all. (You’ve) done some things in your lifetime, you throw it all away. Remember the time when you were on that sinking ship and you would have died, but for your will to prove them wrong. Now those times have gone away and you’ve got no reason to stay. But you don’t want to die - want to die want to die want to kill you. You’ve played their game and lost the dice. They stole your cards now you’ve got to fight or cheat yourself go kill them all kill them all kill them all kill them all dead yeah. Hope She Finds It Gone away. There’s no fucking way. Cant talk to her, cant tell her nothing anyway. She’s going to be a big star. Doesn’t know it now. Cant find her way out. I hope someday she finds it. Hope someday she’s going to work it out It breaks my heart to see her down. No words from me and no sympathy are going to make everything alright. Hope someday she finds her way. Her way out. She’s lost her way and she sees no end. She’s got a smile that I may never see again. Hasn't always been  pissed off. Fell on harder times and cant find her way out. So she’s dropping out. Reject yourself so they will never get the best of you. You've been knocked down. You're tough as nails. Bruised on the ground that's where you stay and wait. Want to pick you up but its not my problem. Its not my problem cause its not my fault. My intentions are in vain, my hands are tied. Until you realize that its all about you. What Am I Doing Here It's so easy to break down. Doing the things you don't want to do. Maybe tomorrow will be your last day and your life is left undone. You should be out having fun. All the time you want to think about nothing. I'm always asking myself what's the reason for this hell and what am I doing here. What am I doing here when I should be out doing all the things I ever wanted to. How did I get stuck here? All my life, its been my destiny to be successful not in a way that's easily understood. Somehow I ended up this way and I am happy now. Am I happy when I'm asking myself, hell what am I doing here. It’s so easy to get worn down, wasted life that isn't you. Maybe tomorrow will be the first day and you wont want to wake up dead. If this is what you want. All the this trouble that's earning you nothing. I'm always asking myself, what's the reason for this hell? What am I doing here? Disaster You've become the symbol of every time I've failed. Beat up and broken down with memories of glory days. Since then it seems that you're running rough and you're faded but you still turn over. Some time ago I call it the good old days. Rise from the ashes and you're back out on the street again. You lit it up. Now that the smoke show is over there's a different fire burning. I can count all the times that you left me stranded and I guess it's all my fault. Even after all this blood, sweat and tears it's beautiful. It's a disaster. It's a beautiful disaster. There was a time when I lost everything. That's when I found you in the place where they left you to die. An abandoned land mine. You where waiting for something like a killer waiting for the night. I got nothing. I pulled the trigger. Made the connection. Aint nothing better than the 350 screaming in the middle of the night and the shining of the chrome in the 96 summer street light. And when you think of it we're one in the same. We've got a common ground, a mirror of condition. Shine when I'm high broken down when I'm low. Always one step away from total self destruction. So when I see you sinking in the ground again, It reminds me of the same situation I'm in. I had it once and I lost it but we will ride again I promise you. Party Crasher I’m a ripped off, pissed off, tired boy. Got a lot on my mind and I’m ready to explode. Please don't confuse this apathy for arrogance. I really don't care. You look like you want to fuck me. Or just come fuck me up. Cant look me in the eye. Why are you so scared? Walk right by you should come say hi. Costume party mentality is killing me. Mental midgets on parade. Concentrated waste of flesh. Since they’re all in the same place. Just one bomb will solve it all. Fucked up retarded dudes and sluts. Want to be seen or fucked. Out on the town, dressed up like clowns and everyone pretends to have fun. Someone cries out "Bring on the meat". The drama queen slaps her best friend, just for attention. She don't really want him. Just one bomb will solve it.... Take away all this suck.... Just one bomb will solve it all. It'll Be Alright I got this neuro decay. Not just an episode. The things I think about mean nothing to me. I know it appears that I think slow. I'm far past overloaded. I lose myself, staring into blank space. I'tll be alright. No I don't want to talk about it. It'll be alright if I wasn't so god damned lonely. I got bruises that you can't even see. It'll be alright but not for me. Just not for me. I got no sense of humor when it comes to assimilating. I close my eyes sometimes and see them all on fire. You'll find you'll have a hard time if you try to get inside my head. You're all insane and I know you're out to get me. I got ten of ten symptoms. I'm angry clinically. I'd scare myself if this wasn't what I'm used to. So what if I talk to myself. We agree our treatment's working. If I'm going to explode. I want to be alone. This doesn't happen to normal people. Live Fast What a waste of time doing the right thing. The quote unquote right thing to hell with the master plan. I don't think the rules apply to me. Gonna drink a lot. I’m gonna smoke a lot. Gonna be reckless. Even if it kills me. Cuz life’s a waste of time if you don't know you're alive. The end is gonna come anyways. Live fast or not at all. Live fast live fast live fast. You know, I wanna die young. Build up your defense against the American dream. Or smother in successes, walled up in picket fences. Finance the circus, mortgage your life away. Or you're gonna ride this out. Sit back and watch it burn? Shaking the hand as it appeases. The artificial smiles. This boring sitcom that I see. All the lies that become your legacy. The easy way out is the way that they produce us. Then once in power,  that’s when they consume us. Trapped us in this cycle with no way out and then they humor us with freedom? Enemies I've always cut you slack and I've given you, plenty of rope to hang yourself. Think you've got something over me cuz I dont have to prove anything. And you dont know that I dont need you. I'm going in for the kill. I'm taking back what's mine. Been too lazy for confrontation but now its time to make some enemies. Now its time to make some enemies. Overexagerrated sense of self importance, then you go and stab me in the back. It makes me kind of laugh, because you think you can get away with it, but now how much leverage do you have? Unsoliciated favors are the way that you justify, all the times you acted like a dick. Never asked you for anything and I think you've worn your welcome out. Your dad and the cops will help you pack your shit. I never liked you anyway... 1984 See the masses suffering they're not like you at all. We're here to help you. That's all you need to know. And if you resist we've got population control. Our very effective means. We will have you where we want you. We've got a lot of victims. They're lined up waiting to win the lottery. We've got a lot of victims and all their money. We don't have to ask they come to us. See the thousands struggling with no place left to go. We're here to save you. That's all you need to know. And if you refuse we will make an example of you. Our methods are very convincing. We will have you where we want you. We justify this violence through services provided come at a price of force and fear. We must maintain disorder. See where you get without us. History will laugh at you. Oh yeah.